Search blog.co.uk

Archives for: May 2007

Good Clean Joke with a sporting angle!

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-24 - 19:35:34

Two ninety-year-old men, Nev and Vic, have been friends all their lives.
>
Vic is dying, and so Nev comes to visit him every day.
>
>
>
>"Vic," says Nev , "You know how we have both loved cricket all our
>lives, and how we played together for so many years. Vic, you have to do me one favour. When you get to Heaven, and I know you will, somehow you've got to let me know if there's cricket in Heaven."
>
>
>
>Vic looks up at Nev from his death bed, and says, "Nev , you've been my best riend many years. If it is at all possible, I'll do that for you."
>And shortly after that, Vic passes on.
>
>
>
>It is midnight a couple of nights later. Nev is sound asleep when he is awakened by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calls out to him, " Nev.Nev."
>
>
>
>"Who is it?" says Nev sitting up suddenly.
>
>
>
>"Who is it?"

"Nev , it's me Vic."
"Come on. You're not Vic. Vic just died."
>
>
>
>"I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Vic!"
>
>
>
>"Vic ? Is that you? Where are you?"
>
>
>
>"I'm in heaven," says Vic, "and I've got to tell you, I've got really good news and a little bad news."
>
>
>
>"So, tell me the good news first," says Nev.
>
>
>
>"The good news is that there is cricket in heaven. Better yet, all our old buddies who've gone before us are there. Better yet, we're all young men again. Better yet, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play cricket all we want, and we never get tired!"
>
>
>
>"Really?" says Nev , "That is fantastic, wonderful beyond my wildest
>dreams! But, what's the bad news?"
>
>
>
>"You're opening the batting next Tuesday."
>
>
>


 
 

Touch Down! Back on British Soil!

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-24 - 19:00:44

Dee just phoned - her flight has just landed at Heathrow!! She has 5 hunky sailor lads with her so I guess baggage handling won't be too difficult :DD

I can't wait to see her though I guess it will be 10 - 10:30pm before I do.

Rose is ready to be poured :DD

I am soooo excited :yes: :>>

50 Useless Facts - some are very odd indeed!

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-21 - 23:31:25

50 useless facts! (sent to me by a friend)

1 - Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2 - Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3 - There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4 - The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5 - A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

6 - There are more chickens than people in the world.

7 - The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

8 - On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the flag flying over then Parliament building is an American flag.

9 - All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

10 - No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

11 - "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

12 - Almonds are a member of the peach family.

13 - There are only 4 words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

14 - A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

15 - An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

16 - Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

17 - In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

18 - Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

19 - The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."

20 - A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

21 - A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.

22 - It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

23 - The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

24 - In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

25 - The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

26 - The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

27 - There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

28 - The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

29 - A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

30 - A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

31 - Elvis had a twin brother named Aaron, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron: in honor of his brother. It is also misspelled on his tomb stone.

32 - Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

33 - More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
34 - Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

35 - Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."

36 - Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot.

37 - If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

38 - Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

39 - Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

40 - The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

41 - The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.

42 - TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

43 - The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

44 - A snail can sleep for 3 years.

45 - American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

46 - The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

47 - Vatican City is the smallest country in the world with a population of 1,000 and a size of 108.7 acres.

48 - "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

49 - No president of the United states was an only child.
And last and definitely most important:

50 - The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.

The Sportsman's Double

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-21 - 22:51:35

Subject: Sportsman's Double
>
>
>
I met an older woman at the club last night.
>
She was in pretty good shape for a woman of 58. We drank quite a bit, and both of us had a bit of a snootful going, when she asked if I'd ever had the Sportsman's Double, which she explained to be a mother and daughter

>Threesome?
>
>I said no.
>
>We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.
>
>We went to her place.
>
>She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
>

>"Mom...., you still awake?"

Hard of Hearing - silly joke!

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-21 - 21:34:49

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,

"Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"

Mabel answered, "I have a suppository?"
She pulled it out and stared at it.

Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."

I am so Excited

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-21 - 21:06:59

There are 2 big events this week in my life. :DD

1 is work related and I will tell it later in the week. :)
2 is the arrival home of my daughter! :yes::DD

Yes the sailor is returning via 2 planes and 2 trains! I have already been to the supermarket and stocked the fridge up with Rose!

She will get home late on Thursday evening after travelling all day. I bet she has a great tan B)

I can't wait to see her!

She is bringing 500 photographs and more luggage than she left with including her gas mask!

She is home earlier than expected because she is changing ships - I shall say no more because no doubt she (Denise77) will want to blog about it herself!

I have demanded that she brings the sun home with her for us all to enjoy B)

Ooooh it is so exciting - I can't wait to give her a huge hug :DD

Silly answering machine message!

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-20 - 21:36:01

Phone answering machine message -

"...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..." :))

Where is this chap off too?

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-20 - 20:25:51

DSCN0707

Spotted this chap in Hay-on-Wye earlier today!

A Little Inspiration prior to the Working Week

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-13 - 21:58:43

Quotes

"Don't wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself."
-- Sara Henderson

"Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions."
-- Anthony Robbins

"Success is neither magical or mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals."
-- Jim Rohn

"Fantasies are more than substitutes for unpleasant reality, they are also dress rehearsals; plans. All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination."
-- Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

Yawn, Stretch, Blink into the light. Saturday is here!

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-12 - 10:35:42

Sat here in my dressing gown (sort of multicoloured polka dots)

Having a cup of tea, not long out of bed, gosh I was tired.:zz:

Long day yesterday, out at 6:30am and away on 2 motorways to at least arrive at the office before my boss.

Interviews were long but OK. Whilst I could work with either of the candidates, my boss of course chose the lesser qualified and experienced one - why? Money of course. 88|

We will see how it works out in the long run I am just glad that I am finally getting some help.

Now amazingly the rain has ceased falling - it really had not stopped for two days. So I must pop the washing onto the line and hope it stays dry long enough to ensure I don't have to put the electric-eating tumble dryer on!

The lawns have lost their yellow patches and now are all green (and weedy)!
At least they are too wet to cut (hurrah) :))

A nice little house by the sea

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-10 - 22:32:41

If only one of these was for sale....... a girl can dream

DSCN0670

Terrace in Punta Brava

Trees you wish you had when you were a child

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-10 - 22:19:06

DSCN0609

Now this tree looks like it could walk right up to you - imagine that in a moonlit wood!

DSCN0627

Isn't this fabulous?

Photos taken in the Botanical Gardens, La Paz, Puerto De La Cruz, Tenerife

Typical streets in Puerto De La Cruz - North Tenerife

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-10 - 21:55:25

DSCN0465

DSCN0488

DSCN0519

Hello - Yes I am Back!

by welshceltgirl @ 2007-05-10 - 20:29:04

A holiday is a wonderful thing - I had forgotten how therapeutic they can be B)

I had a great time and met old friends and made some new ones too :)

My friend Fiona came to the airport with me when it was time to come home. I shed a few tears. I did NOT want to comeback.

I arrived home on a Friday evening at 5:00pm and my neighbour kindly collected me from the airport.

Immediately I was into hectic UK mode - 2 loads of washing and both lawns mowed by 8:00pm. The I ordered a CHinese takeaway and collapsed into a chair!

Saturday morning I did a big pile of ironing and put the big suitcase away (until next time)
Saturday afternoon I packed a small suitcase and I raced down to West Wales to my mum & dad's Golden Wedding celebrations (more about that another time)

When I got back on Sunday after a round trip of 200+ miles in 24 hours, I started on the post - mine and the daughter's. Absolutely masses of it + 4 free newpapers and leaflets from Lidls, Aldi, Tescos, Waitrose, Nettos, Wilkinsons, B&Q, Wickes, Conservatives, Labour, National Front, Plaid Cymru - oh and a pile of junk mail and a variety of takeaway menus.
Take it from me the recycling bin was full - so full I could barely lift it!

Sunday evening I realise I have no food in the house, so I defrost a loaf and have lots of toast and marmalade!

I left the house at 6:30am both Monday and Tuesday to tackle the huge amounts of post and email at the office and produce two credible monthly reports!

The rest of the week I spent racing about from one site to another so that by Friday I was knackered! Holiday - what holiday?!!!!

Saturday was a fabulous warm and sunny day - so I got the hedge cut, mowed the lawns, made up some hanging baskets and patio tubs.

Typically then Sunday and Monday (Bank Holiday) were windy, damp and cold. So I had a rest right? No not me! Turned out the spare room!

The really good news is I AM INTERVIEWING FOR HELP TOMORROW!!!!! I guess my boss missed me and possibly got a lot of hassle whilst I was sunning myself in the Canaries because tomorrow we are meeting candidates to hopefully appoint someone work with me to share the load! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots more to say but you have probably all nodded off by now............


 
 

Footer

The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.