An original idea by lyndlj of Blogland

OK, the good and magical fairy Fantasmagoria has granted you three wishes.

But she is a feisty good fairy (as you would be with a name like that)

So there are conditions

Your first wish has to be about a person/people not related to you

Your second wish has to be about a place ... that you might like to live in or visit

Your third wish can be about anything not related to the first two wishes but is not allowed to be more wishes And your wishes have to be personal to you.

So...

My first wish ... that the British Sailors held by Iran are released quickly and unharmed

My second wish ... a wood that runs almost to the edge of the sea, a writing pad and inspiration

My third wish ... to meet and trust a soulmate

Copy and paste on to your blog and post your answers

Cheers Molt
Thank you for making Comment no.5000 on my Blog

I must know now! Before I go to bed

WATCH out Wales - the smoking ban could be a bit of a stinker!

In Scotland, where cigarettes were outlawed from pubs a year ago, one drinker has blamed the ban after his local barred him for farting.

Stewart Laidlaw was asked to leave Thirsty Kirsty's in Dunfermline, Fife, when another regular complained about his trumping.

Pub staff told the 35-year-old not to return, claiming he "basked in the glory" of his whiffy ways.

But angry Stewart said his fellow drinkers did not have a problem with his wind before the clampdown.

No-one could smell anything when the pub was full of cigarette smoke. I never used to complain about the smell of their cigarette smoke, but now everyone complains about me.

"It's just a natural thing. What can I do about it?" moaned the local who had been drinking there for seven years.

"I must be the first person in the country to get banned from a pub for passing wind. But it's not a title I want. I certainly don't see it as funny."

Landlord John Thow said fed-up regulars had had enough.

"It has become way beyond a joke. At first, we asked him politely to stop.

"Since then, he has been warned on many occasions. The final straw was when an old gentleman came in and had his gin and tonic and you could see he was almost physically sick," he said.

Paddy`s doing well on "Who wants to be a millionaire".
>
He`s got £500,000. Chris Tarrant asks him the big question for a 1 million quid.
>
Paddy for £1million. who was the great train robber?
>A. Ronnie Barker.
>B. Ronnie O`Sullivan.
>C. Ronnie Corbett. or was it
>D. Ronnie Biggs?
>
>Paddy say`s "O`ill take de money please Chris"
>Chris reminds him that he still has 3 lives left.
>Paddy again say`s "Nope O`ill take de money please Chris"
>"You don`t want to phone a friend?" say`s Chris.
>No t`anks o`ill take de money "final answer".
>Ok say`s Chris looking bemused"give him a round of applause ladies and gentlemen".
>
>Paddy goes away with £500,000. However before you go you`ll obviously want to know what the answer was Paddy?
>
>Paddy say`s .No yer olrihgt. Oi knew de answer anyway t`anks
Chris!...
......are you mad!!!!" asks Chris."are you mental?"

>Paddy say`s "Oi might be mental Chris..........but oim no fecking grass!"

That is what I and many other bloggers are suffering from.

The "Bloggers Arms" has not opened its doors for some time now

If anyone spots Michael St Mark online please tell him I am considering starting a petition demanding the reopening of the pub!

Today was an OK day in work.

Apart from

an email from my boss

saying

from July

you are taking on Environmental duties as well!

He's 'aving a larf

Just to let you know that if you have posted tonight that you need to check your Blog for replies because for some reason even though comments are appearing in my Hotmail account - they are not been notified! I am not the only one I discover as this is happening to another blogger. So check both your posts and your hotmail account (where applicable

Leaving comments on Blogs.D

Listening to CD's - currently listening to Van Morrison "Brown Eyed Girl" (cos I am one!)

Following on from my posting Friday about wishing I could sew. I have bought a dressmakers dummy from Ebay and I am going to give it a go! Julian McDonald eat ya heart out!!

I need something to focus on as work is dire and I am missing the sailor girl who isn't due home to her mum unitl August

She did phone last night which was lovely and I did get a Mothers Day cardD

Still missing her like mad though

No sightings of Knights in Shining Armour - so still single.

Roll on my holiday in April

As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had
pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractorT-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate drank and slept tractors.

On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a
tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor. His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends.

The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive.
Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when, Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg and fracturing his skull. He was very upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told him there was no liability and he could get lost!

You can imagine he was rather brassed off with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completelyand forever. All the posters came down, the toys were given away- tractors were GONE.

Many years later, Joe went into a bar for a drink. Inside, the cigarette and cigar smoke was terrible but through it he saw a beautiful girl seated at the bar on her own. Tears were streaming down her face. Joe asked her what was wrong and she said that the smoke was making her eyes sting and stream with tears. Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside into the car park and blew all the smoke out again.

He went back into the bar where the air was now clear and sweet and
sits down next to the girl.

"That was amazing!" she said, "How did you do that?"
"No problem", said Joe "I'm an extractor fan"

I know it was bad, but it made me laugh

I would make something like this!

I love silk painting and this would be a wonderful project

Just need to learn dressmaking/sewing now

Monday
(am)
Arrive at workplace that wasn't up to scratch the week before. I had told them what they needed to do before I visited again. They did not do it.

I shut them down.

Later - my boss arrives (2nd visit in 9 months)

(pm)
Visit another workplace - it is perfect except there are no workers. It would appear they were all removed before our arrival. Can't do anything wrong if they are not there eh?

(pm)
New site - digger hits the gas main/ Shops close, people are evacuated, roads are closed. Rush-hour gridlock ensues

Tuesday
(am) Meet new Director - that went OK

(pm) Boss tells me that the promised help he is supposed to be arranging for me isn't needed - better time management on my part would solve all my problems. : :

Almost got up and walked out at that point. I was furious. As soon as he went I headed for home. Spent evening surfing net for new job.

Wednesday (am)
Investigate gas main incident

(pm)
Visit from the HSE (Health and Safety Executive) - gruelling grilling

Thursday
(am)
Could barely motivate myself out of bed
Finally went to office closest
(pm)
Left early as so depressed

Friday
(am)
Went to another new site. Understaffed and the Manager looked shattered.

(lunchtime)
Whilst unloading a lorry the load swung and damaged a passing car, loads of dents, scratches and the drivers window broken.

(pm)

Spoke to another company about a job and sent off my CV.

Just been too stressed to Blog or reply to comments - sorry.

Anybody here use Gumtree? It is a great community website - there is bound to be one for your area.

Check it out www.gumtree.com

About an hour ago I posted a "Stuff Wanted" advert (free ad) on my local Gumtree and someone has already emailed me to tell me where I can get what I wantD

1. Can you cook?
Yes but can't usually be bothered just for me

2. What was your dream growing up?
To be a) train driver b) astronaut c) crane driver

3. What talent do you wish you had?
To be able to play Irish fiddle music

4. Favorite place?
Hay-on-Wye

5. Favorite vegetable?
Onion

6. What was the last book you read
”Scene Stealers” Siobahn Curnam

7. What zodiac sign are you?
Sun in Cancer. Aries Rising, Capricorn Moon

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
Only ears

9. Worst Habit?
Smoking

10. Do you personally know anybody on Blog?
Yes (2)

11. What is your favorite sport?
Rugby Union

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Don't know

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator lift with
someone of the opposite sex?
Chat

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
Being in a childrens’ home

15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
As a child I had many psychic experiences

16. Do you have any pets?
No

17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
No

18. Is the sun shining where you are now?
Yes!

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
SCARY

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it
be?
My hips

21. Would you be my good angel or bad angel?
A good one

22. What color eyes do you have?
Dark brown/black

23. Ever been arrested?
Yes

24. Bottle or Draft?
Draft Guinness

25. If you won £10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Liposuction (See 20.) Botox & other cosmetic improvements!

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
None

27. What's your favorite bar to hang at?
Symmetric ones

28. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Blog

30. Do you swear a lot?
Yes – occupational hazard

31. Biggest pet peeve?
Unpunctuality in others

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Single

A koala is sitting up a gum tree ... smoking a joint

when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says,

"Hey Koala ! What are you doing?"
>

The koala says:
>
"Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
>
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and

they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his
>
mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and
helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard:
>
>
"What's the matter with you?" asks the crocodile
>
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting
>smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest,

The crocodile finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says

"Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says:
>
"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude ... how much water did you drink?!!"

I have had some lovely dresses from Ebay recently in preparation for my holidays.

Just one fly in the ointment

One particular seller charged £3.95 for P+P First class. Not a problem. Except that when the dress eventually showed up it plainly stated on the packaging 2nd Class - £1.09.

So I wrote to the seller and said I would like £1.50 refunded to my Paypal account due to the misleading advert she had placed in respect of the postal service she offered and charged for. She admitted her mistake but refuses to refund me saying that the £2.86 extra was for the envelop and the journey to and from the post office! Cheeky cow.

So I have mulled this over for a few days now and I am not going down the route of a slanging match and negative feedback.

So what am I going to do?

I am going to fill a large padded envelope (old one) with cut scrap paper, tape it up good and proper and address it to her. Then I will put 10 x 1p stamps on it and drop it in a postbox in England.

The post office will leave her a note/knock her door saying she needs to pay the postage owing on the item, I trust that her curiosity and the fact that she buys and sells a lot will ensure she pays up for her worthless package.

I wil feel so much much better when that is doneD

This is the reservoir alongside the A470 in Mid Wales. I took the picture around 8:00am on Wednesday.

Isn't it tranquil looking?

Found this earlier thanks to Pompadour

The Latest Decalogue

Thou shalt have one God only; who
Would be at the expense of two?
No graven images may be
Worshipped, except the currency:
Swear not at all; for, for thy curse
Thine enemy is none the worse:
At church on Sunday to attend
Will serve to keep the world thy friend:
Honour thy parents; that is, all
From whom advancement may befall:
Thou shalt not kill; but need'st not strive
Officiously to keep alive:
Do not adultery commit;
Advantage rarely comes of it:
Thou shalt not steal; an empty feat,
When it's so lucrative to cheat:
Bear not false witness; let the lie
Have time on its own wings to fly:
Thou shalt not covet; but tradition
Approves all forms of competition.

The sum of all is, thou shalt love,
If any body, God above;
At any rate shall never labor
More than thyself to love thy neighbor.

Just had mine. Tuna sandwich.

I suppose the rest of the world will be having a nice family meal with hot food.

I feel another solitary Sunday is upon me. Didn't speak to a soul last week until 8pm Sunday evening

No wonder people take up drinking, I could get sloshed and watch a film and then sleep it off until teatime.

It is teeming down outside, the wind is blowing and the sky is a heavy leaden grey. How nice it would be to sit in the sun with a book eh? Roll on summer.

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

A Total Eclipse of the Moon: March 3rd 2007
If the sky is clear on the night of March the 3rd we will be able to witness the first total eclipse of the Moon visible from the United Kingdom for three years and the best since January 2001. With the Moon's colour during totality ranging from dark coppery-brown to bright orange it can be a most beautiful sight. Though not as spectacular as a total Solar eclipse, it will be visible from the whole dark side of the Earth and is totally safe to observe. No protective filters are needed and the Moon will appear considerably less bright than the normal Full Moon.

During the period of totality, from 22:24 to 23:58, the Moon is only illuminated by light that has filtered through the Earth's atmosphere and its appearance depends on the amount of dust in the atmosphere: following the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in 1992, which released large amounts of volcanic ash into the atmosphere, the eclipsed Moon was nearly invisible. As the Earth has not had a major eruption for some years we can expect an impressive sight!

Ian Morison of the University of Manchester's Jodrell Bank Observatory explains: "If the Earth had no atmosphere the Moon would become invisible when it fully enters the Earth's shadow. However, light refracted and scattered through the atmosphere can still illuminate the Moon though with far reduced brightness. As blue light is scattered by the atmosphere more than red light (which is why our skies are blue) the light that remains is predominately red and orange - the colour of the Sun when close to the horizon. If there were astronauts on the surface of the Moon looking towards the Earth during a total lunar eclipse they would see a black disc surrounded by a bright red ring. It is the light from this ring that we see reflected by the Moon's surface."

The Moon will start to be partially eclipsed at 20:16 as it enters the Earth's penumbra, but the effects will be difficult to see. Only when part of the Moon's disc enter the full shadow region, the umbra, does the reduction in brightness and the colouration become obvious. The Moon will star to enter the umbra at 21:30 and be fully immersed in the Earth's shadow by 22:44. Mid-eclipse is at 23:21 and the Moon will begin to emerge from the umbral region at 23:58. The eclipse will be finally over at 02:25.

Not blogged this week.

Been a funny week to be honest - funny peculiar.

I was quite depressed due to my friend losing her husband into the arms of another woman (sudden and unexpected)

Then I was propositioned by a married man. I could have punched him. He gave me all the usual chat "I have always admired you" "you must have known for a long time how I feel about you" "I would leave my wife for you" "I have been in a loveless marriage for years"

Well if it was that bad why is he still with her? Honestly men (apologies to the nice ones here) only leave their wives or girlfriends when they have someone else lined up to take them on.

Unbeleivable