Honestly this Blog is so slow again with it taking over a minute to change a page. I cannot be doing with this so I have emailed Blog on their Pro-User email.
Anyone else having the same problem tonight?
All other sites I ar functioning normally and I do have a highspeed connection and it is working just fine.

A fed-up WCG

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home,having a drink and a smoke when it starts to rain.

One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel! : You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted

Driving

Down the merry motorways of Wales and England off first to Exeter and then onto Plymouth.

Unfortunately my daughter is in Portsmouth rather than Plymouth so no joy there then

I arranged to meet a colleague/friend tomorrow evening to go and see "Venus" the new Peter O'Toole film

I heard a good review of it on the radio last Monday as I journeyed through the snow topped mountains to Aberystwyth. It has been written by Hanif Kureishi of "My Beautiful Laundrette & Buddha of Suburbia" fame

Unfortunately my friend has to attend her Aunt's funeral some distance away and may not return in time to meet me.

I am torn between a scintillating evening in a soulless hotel or the Vue cinema

Looks like it will be Peter O'Toole's lucky night then

Back Tuesday though to see what you lot have been up to in my absence and give a review of the film

It has been a week ssince I last blogged! It has been a very busy 7 days indeed.

Friday night I met another blogger from this site! We met, had a drink and then went to see a film.
The film which I can recommend - "Starter For Ten" was very funny, set in the 1980's about an Essex boy who makes it to University in Bristol and onto the University Challenge Team!
My companion and I laughed heartily all the way through. Afterwards we had a drink and a good chat until after midnight.
It is nice to meet someone you have been "talking to" for over a year and get to know them outside the "virtual reality" that we bloggers inhabit

Now the rest of you can try and guess who it was

It is time to hang-up and hold on to the steering wheeel

Motorists who are caught using a hand-held mobile phone while driving will have three penalty points added to their licence, the government says.
Transport Secretary Douglas Alexander said the maximum fine would also double to £60 from 27 February.

He added that it was "impossible to do two things at once" and that using a mobile while driving was dangerous.

"It's quite simple - it's impossible to do two things at once and do them well.

"That is why in December 2003 we introduced new laws preventing motorists from driving while using a hand-held mobile.

"We have seen a groundswell of support for this move.

"But, worryingly, while 92% of people agree with the law, 21% of drivers admit to breaking it."

Home Office figures for 2004 show that nearly 74,000 fixed-penalty notices were issued in England and Wales for illegal use of a mobile phone while driving.

A Liberal Democrat study last year suggested this meant only 1.1% of those who admitted to the offence were being caught.

The party combined the Home Office figures and an insurance firm's survey on driving habits to calculate that 6.7m people use mobiles while behind the wheel.

If the police or the driver choose to take a case to court rather than use a fixed-penalty notice, the maximum fine is £1,000, or £2,500 for drivers of vans, lorries, buses and coaches.

Snow on the Hills just east of Aberystwyth today.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Shopping
A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office
when he realizes that it's his daughter's birthday
and he has not bought her a gift.

So he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie.
Inside he sees a Barbie display and asks the sales girl
how much the Barbies are.

The girl responds: "Which one? We have:
Gymnasium Barbie: £19.95,
Volleyball Barbie: £19.95,
Shopping Barbie: £19.95,
Surfer Barbie: £19.95,
Disco Barbie: £19.95,
and Divorced Barbie: £299.95

Shocked, the man asks, "why is Divorced Barbie £299.95
when all the other Barbies are just £19.95 ?"

Exasperated, the girl responds: "Sir,
Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's Car,
Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's furniture,
Ken's jewellery, Ken's money,
Ken's computer and Ken's best friend...

Woken this morning by torrential rain which when I checked it out was full of hail and sleet! Still windy too and noticeably colder than of late.
Now though the sky is blue and the sun is shining

Had my usual purge on the housework and got the ironing done too. I am away 3 nights in total next week so I need to be organised. Now all my clothes are clean and ironed it will make the packing simpler.

Tomorrow I head for West Wales whilst my daughter heads for Portmouth - there is much shining of shoes going on in the kitchen as I type

Monday sees me in Mid Wales but I have to return home to gallivant off again early Tuesday morning and I shall not be back until late on Thursday evening. So I have two lots of packing to do Still all this rushing about will make the
week fly by and soon it will be the weekend again

This afternoon I have to nip out to a cashpoint because this evening I am taking my offspring for a slap up dinner in a fairly new restaurant that we haven't tried as yet but have heard highly recommended

Not sure what I am wearing yet though ..... decisions, decisions...

Watching the rugby before I go and I hope my team win, it is going to be a tough game today Munster v Leicester for those who understand these things.

I hope everyone is having a good Saturday and enjoying some dry weather after this weeks deluges

The family of a Lismore Park couple, who were celebrating a milestone wedding anniversary, decided to send their parents on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Rome, a place they had always wanted to visit.

Margaret went downtown to get her hair done the day before they flew off and, when she told the hairdresser about their holiday, she sniffed and said: " God, why would anybody want to go to Rome, it' s clogged with rubbish and full of Italians and tourists."

A stunned Margaret made no reply so the hairdresser said: " And what airline are you travelling with?" When Margaret told her, she recoiled in horror: " You poor love" , she exclaimed, " they are the worst of the whole lot." " You could have got much cheaper flights with better service if you had checked with people who know such as myself."

More in an effort to reassure herself, Margaret mentioned the name of the hotel they were going to, adding that she had been told it was very nice.

" Nice! are you mad" , exclaimed the hairdresser, so loudly that everybody else in the salon could hear him. " That place is a dump, it' s filthy and full of scruffy, back-packing students. I wouldn' t touch it with a barge-poll."

With her face bright red from embarrassment, and in a last attempt to stop the rest of the customers feeling sorry for her, Margaret confided up that they were really looking forward to visiting St. Peter' s and, maybe, seeing the Pope on the Sunday morning.

" Listen, girl" , sighed the hairdresser condescendingly, " you' ll be herded around St. Peter' s like cattle and, even if the Pope does come out on his balcony, he will only be a dot on the horizon as far as you are concerned."

Four weeks later, Margaret returned to the salon to get her hair done. " Well" , smirked the hairdresser, winking at the rest of the customers, " how did you get on?"

" Margaret smiled sweetly and, raising her voice so everybody else could hear, exclaimed: " It was wonderful, the best trip ever. Rome itself was beautiful and the sun shone all the time we were there. We were bumped up to 'first class' on the plane when they heard it was our anniversary and we sipped Champagne all the way over."

The hairdresser tried to change the subject but Margaret kept going: " Our hotel was wonderful, it was newly decorated and members of the Spanish royal family were staying in the suites above us. And, then, we were absolutely enchanted by St. Peter' s where we got Mass every morning."

" Well, whatever" , sniffed the hairdresser, " I suppose you got to see the Pope as well."

" Much more than that" , replied Mary, well aware that she had the attention of everybody in the salon. " Who did we meet one morning only a young priest who went to school with one of my sons. He is now the personal assistant to Pope Benedict and he asked us would we like to meet his 'boss' , can you believe it?"

At this stage, the hairdresser had stopped working on Margaret' s hair and everybody else in the salon also paused not wanting to miss a word of her story.

" And did you get to see him" , asked the hairdresser.

" We did" , said Margaret, her face glowing at the recollection of her experience. " We were shown into a little room and we were only waiting for about five minutes when, there he was, the Pope himself."

" What did he say to you" , asked everybody, almost as one voice.

" Well" , said Margaret, " he shook our hands, blessed us both and said he was praying for peace in the North of Ireland. Then he turned to me and said: " My child, my child, where on earth did you get such a terrible hairdo?"

The end to what seemed like another interminable week in work.

Did a presentation this morning to a large group of engineers and directors and some of them actually thanked me afterwards! Nobody fell asleep and many asked for a copy to be sent to them electronically as they felt they could use the material for training purposes. So a good end to a boisterous week.

We did start with giant bacon rolls and tea/coffee and all the guys said they would attend one of my events again!
I an see the Directors nicking this approach to improve attendance and reduce excuses when they hold meetingsD

January is horrid enough without the trauma of this Blog running slower than a very slow thing - I wish they would sort it out

Meanwhile the absence of some friends is felt

The pub is shut - where are you Michael St.Mark?

Charlie is only available on MSN sporadically

Lola-J has never come back

Sussie is taking an extend blog-break

Tealover looks set never to return

To top it all there are fewer and fewer posts here - is it because the service is so slow?

I am going to email Blog.co.uk and complain

What is it with January? Apparently it is 31 days in length but it feels like that long now since New Year's Eve

Payday of course for me and many others came a week early in December but oh we are reaping the rewards of that now eh? Another 11 days to go and I am so broke!

Almost everyday is grey and wet but at least not cold I suppose. I hate all this getting up and going out in the dark and travelling home in the dark usually in 2nd or 3rd gear for miles being almost hypnotised by long parallel lines of tail-lights and brake lights looking like sore eyes

And the birds - ungrateful creatures, I staggered home with a nice birdfeeder and loads of nuts and things for them and they haven't bothered at all

I shall be glad when this month is over and life can go back to semblance of normality, and the evenings will lengthen and the sun will reappear to cheer us all up.D

The highlight of tonight will be "Shameless" on CH4 at 10pm and I have to be in my PJs before it starts so I can go straight to bed afterwards!

Ah well as Molt would say it is "humpday" tomorrow (the middle of the week) and then down the days to another weekend.D

I was just fantasising about winning the Lotto - as you do at 10pm on a Sunday night

I decided that one thing I would definitely do is have a Bloggers PartyD

Just imagine we would have Prydwen, Kiki2U and Sussie to do the jokes - guaranteed laughter there

Guitarist and Molt could provide musical entertainment

The walls of the party room could exhibit all manner of art and photography from the likes of Dean Christopher, Michael St. Mark, Lyndlj, Usksider, Wendlane, Charlie, and others.

Cooking - well West Wing could do some starters and Adamantixx could do some trifle! Many others have skills in the catering department and they could all bring something for us to try.

Carvings "wood" (pun) adorn the room from Lonemum

Anecdotes would be flowing from Alec Weston, Destination, Emmbee, EthelRed, Fafajane, Gilraen, Lifes Lessons, M St.M, and NickP

Dieting success story HereIGoAgain would swoosh round the room in something long and sexy looking well fit for a formerly large lady!

Madpoet would entertain with a verse or two about the occasion itself.

Humourous observations on life would be from the likes of Ianrthorpe, Astronut, Isadora101, Birdsong, Captain Autumn, DeadheadUk.

Rugby - Neil Online and I having a long chat about the Heineken Cup 2007

Abilene, Nixie, Me, Pompadour, Teri R, Pollygarter, PaddyUk, Cartlionel, PollyP, would form a girls drinking club (YES PaddyUK you are one of us now )

Znethru could compose something fitting for the occasion

The Welsh contingent would be me, Dean Christopher, Denise77, Pollygarter and the lovely Usksider ( NO Paddy - You are gay NOT Welsh!)

Its funny you know I can "see" you all and I am sure we would have a good time fuelled by alcohol, delicious food, laughter and kind words. I will keep filling in the ticket and let you all know if a fortune comes my way and you can all help choose a fitting venue for our frivolities

Reality now - bed in half an hour 'cos I have work tomorrow

WELSH boffin has discovered the worst Monday of the year - and bosses beware, it's next week.

Psychologist Dr Cliff Arnall of Cardiff University has christened January 22 'Blue Monday', when post-Christmas fatigue kicks in, resolutions fall by the wayside and spring seems ages away.

What's more, the academic says the feeling will last all week as the lethal combination of miserable weather and astronomical credit card bills affects even the super-happy among us.

Dr Arnall has even come up with a formula - 1/8W+(D-d)3/8xTQMxNA.

It factors in the dreariness of the (W)eather, the arrival of Christmas bills or (D)ebt, minus monthly salary (d), (T)ime elapsed since Christmas and the failure to keep a New Year's resolution or to (Q)uit a bad habit, low (M)otivational levels and the need to take action (NA).

I might have the solution here.....

Yesterday I just posted a funny picture because I found that answering comments took so long

I would put in my reply and press the button and it was taking 90 - 120 seconds for each comment to appear

I am pleased to report that today things are much improved and blog pages are changing faster thank goodness

Well that is the end of the first 5-day working week for me in 2007. It was long, it was tough, but I have survived

I have battled through torrential rain and gale force-storm force winds up and down motorways all week. Each time the laptop was switched on the email streamed in relentlessly I have decided to have an office day on Monday just to catch up on the paperwork - yuk. Tuesday and Wednesday I will go to sites and Thursday and Friday I have meetings and I am running a training forum as well -

Next weekend is the last weekend of my daughter's leave so we are off to a recommended restaurant that opened a few months ago and did/may still feature the art-work of a fellow blogger - Dean-Christopher I will really miss the little angel when she goes back

I have been to the gym twice this week but couldn't go last night due to a sore knee, so have left it today as I have been up and down ladders and around the supermarket after work - enough exercise for one day Maybe I will get there tomorrow

I absolutley must swot up my Spanish too so may do 4 x 1 hour sessions over Saturday and Sunday. The time flies when I am learning but you can only take so much onboard at any one session.

Also this is some Rugby to watch over the weekendD

Not the most exciting week I know but that is life

The Mind Boggles eh?

There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around
talking about how there lives sucked.

The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."

The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad?
When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar,
put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."

The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough?
When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall
until I throw up and pass out!.

"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Please join me for a glass of Champagne to celebrate this milestone

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first
exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign
attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said,
"He mated 50 times last year."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign
attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. "
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said,
"That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached
that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said,
"That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said,
"Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

Nursing Home Driver
An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls
in her wheelchair, making sounds like she's driving a car.
As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says,
"Excuse me ma'am, but you were speeding, can I see your driver's license?"
She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper and hands
it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way.

Up and down the hall again she goes, making sounds like she's driving a car.
Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am,
but I saw you cross over the center line back there.
Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse
and pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him.

He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way.
She zooms off again, up and down the halls weaving all over.
As she comes to the old man's room again, he jumps out.

He is stark naked and has an erection!
The old lady in the wheel chair looks up at the man and say's,
"Oh no. Not the Breathalyser again!"

After 3 days in work (which felt like a week) writing both the first annual report and then my two monthly reports I was so looking forward to the weekend. The joy of not getting up at 6:00am!

I could not believe how tired I was Friday evening, although as soon as I got home I changed into my gym kit and went off to do my hour. It was jolly hard to finish my ususal session - I had been the night before too but this had not made it any easier.
Home then for tea and watched the Magners League rubgy - rubbish game played in awful weather - glad I was in the dry and warm watching it.

Saturday morning I got up just after 9:00am and had my two obligatory boiled eggs for breakfast and then it was off to town in the pouring rain.

First stop was eyebrow waxing for both myself and my daughter. The beautician was very nice and we all had a good chat and she did a great job.

Next stop was the brand new library - our library has been run from the leisure centre for about 4/5 years whilst the old town hall building was refurbished. The new library itself is lovely, quite state of the art, but whilst it has masses of computers and DVDs it was a disappointment on the book front. Checking for example on Spanish language books I discovered they had an entire stock of 5 and these were all years old. I spoke to the librarian and pointed out that as the local authority currently has over 40 Spanish lanuguage sessions running each week it might be an idea to provide some books to support these classes. The literature section was very poor too. I feel they should have spent a bit less on acres of new carpets, DVDs and computers and a bit more on books. I am going to make a point of putting some pressure on them to up their game in that library and I shall spend a bit of time monitoring change there or else the library committe will be hearing about it!

Then we did a couple of charity shops - a great source of books, before popping into the supermarket. Whilst in the supermarket I met a friend I had not seen for around 10 years! The queue was long so we had a good old gossip.

Visited the only gay in our cul-de-sac for coffee in the afternoon and then went home and had a purge on housework.

We spent the evening catching up on the first 4 episodes of "Shameless" Series 3 which I had bought from Amazon before Christmas. I am a huge fan of Paul Abbot the creator/writer of Shameless and so far this series has not disappointed. Hopefully we will catch the rest up tonight and tomorrow evening because I see that Series 4 starts on Tuesday.

THis morning I was up early and off to the gym for another 1 hour session - I should be so slim!! It is easier to go on the weekend as I am less tired and the fact it was raining just makes you realise you wouldn't be doing anything else anyway.
Home to shower and then catch up on the Archers Omnibus which was excellent today.

Now there is a nice piece of beef in the oven, the rain is still teeming down outside and I can relax for the rest of my weekend.

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY:
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how's everything going?" inquired God.

"It's all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights -- everything is just wonderful. But I do have one problem. It's these breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I'm constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain," reported Eve.

Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more symmetrically balanced.

"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you're right. I'll fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how's my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one little oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I'll immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see... Where did I put that useless boob?"

(Now doesn't THIS make more sense than all that crap about the rib?)

Molt has tagged me! D

So here goes.....

1. I am ... glad 2006 is over
2. I will ... continue to improve my Spanish
3. I want ... someone special to share